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Defending my honor, you know how it goes. Had to jump out the bedroom window last night. Tuck and roll, flipped around on the ground till my feet caught traction. I ran for it. Got shot in the ass. Sneaky fuckers and their guns. Pulled the bullet out with my bare hands, had to close the wound with the heat from an electric blanket. Fucked up over here on the western front. I'll check in.